Where the Hell Is My Husband? The Truth About Modern Dating and Healthy Love | Taylor Carr
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Why does modern dating feel so hard when you've done so much work on yourself?
In this episode of The Inner Script, Stephanie Baubie, NP sits down with dating and feminine energy coach Taylor Carr to answer the question so many accomplished, self-aware women are quietly asking: where the hell is my husband? Taylor shares the heartbreak in her early 30s that changed the entire trajectory of her life, and the dating patterns she's watched play out in her own story and in her clients' ever since.
Together, Stephanie and Taylor unpack what feminine energy actually means (hint: it has nothing to do with being passive or submissive), why self-trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship, and how the roles of men and women have shifted so quickly that both are a little unsure of what dating is supposed to look like now. Taylor explains the difference between husband energy and boyfriend energy and why the kind, emotionally available men many women say they want often get filed away as "just a friend" because safety doesn't feel like butterflies.
The conversation moves through dating apps, meeting people in real life, chemistry versus emotional safety, dating archetypes and the wounds underneath them, boundaries around intimacy, and what it really means to be discerning without being closed off. Taylor is warm, direct, and refreshingly free of scripts, rules, and texting hacks.
Whether you're actively dating, healing from a breakup, or simply rebuilding your relationship with yourself first, this episode offers a more honest and more hopeful way to think about modern love.
This episode is for you if…
You're exhausted by modern dating, overthinking every interaction, or wondering why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners.
You want to understand feminine energy, self-trust, and how healthy masculine and feminine dynamics actually work in a relationship.
You're ready to break old patterns, hold your boundaries, and become the woman who recognizes healthy love when it shows up.
Episode Timestamps
00:00 Introduction
04:31 What Feminine Energy Really Means
09:48 Why Self-Trust Comes First
13:37 Why Dating Feels Harder
15:43 Emotional Safety Versus Chemistry
20:35 Meeting Men In Real Life
22:45 Common Dating Blocks
31:03 Dating Archetypes And Patterns
40:29 Boundaries, Intimacy, And Self-Respect
47:43 The Secret To Lasting Love
Resources & Mentions
Free Blind Spots In Love Quiz - discover which of the four dating archetypes is running your love life
Upgrade With Taylor - Taylor's website, freebies, and programs
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
The Modern Muse Diaries - Taylor's podcast
Taylor Carr on YouTube
Curious about a supplement Steph has mentioned in the episode?
If you’re looking for products Steph personally recommends in practice, you can browse her dispensary here: Stephanie’s Fullscript dispensary
Please consult your healthcare provider before starting any new supplement. Food, lifestyle, and nervous system support always come first.
The Dating Pattern Self-Reflection Guide
A one-page worksheet to help you name the dynamic that feels most familiar, identify your dating archetype, and notice where you may have mistaken emotional safety for boredom. Download it here: Patreon companion resource
You can also join Steph’s free Patreon community here:
The Inner Script Patreon
Meet Taylor Carr
Taylor Carr is a love, dating, and feminine energy expert for ambitious women who helps her clients build self-trust, hold their standards, and create empowered, intentional relationships. After a heartbreak in her early 30s reshaped her entire approach to love, she set out to understand modern dating from the inside out. Her work has been featured in Fox News, AskMen, Bustle, and Daily OM. Website: www.upgradewithtaylor.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/iamtaylorcarr
Taylor’s Website & Instagram
Meet Your Host
Stephanie Baubie, NP is an integrative nurse practitioner and the host of The Inner Script Podcast, where she explores the deeper stories behind health, healing, identity, and transformation. Through a blend of functional medicine, nervous system awareness, emotional insight, and honest conversation, Stephanie helps women better understand their bodies while questioning the narratives they’ve inherited about wellness, worth, and what it means to truly feel well.
On The Inner Script, Stephanie sits down with physicians, founders, thought leaders, and experts in women’s health, while also sharing solo reflections on the transitions and inner shifts that shape our lives.
Follow Steph on Instagram.
FAQs
Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable men even after doing the work?
On The Inner Script, Taylor Carr explains that repeatedly attracting emotionally unavailable partners often points to a place where vulnerability, commitment, or being truly known still feels unsafe to us. Rather than treating it as bad luck or a shortage of good men, she encourages women to look at what the pattern is protecting them from. Stephanie and Taylor discuss how self-trust, honest boundaries, and a willingness to sit with familiar-but-painful dynamics can finally break the cycle.
What is the difference between husband energy and boyfriend energy?
Taylor Carr describes boyfriend energy as the man who knows how to create instant chemistry, excitement, and uncertainty, while husband energy shows up as steady, kind, and genuinely available. Because many women are used to reading intensity as attraction, the husband often gets categorized as a friend within the first five minutes. Taylor suggests giving those men a few more dates so connection has time to build instead of expecting it to spark immediately.
What does feminine energy actually mean in dating?
Feminine energy, as Taylor describes it in this episode, is not about being passive, submissive, or dependent on a man. It's receptivity, embodiment, self-trust, and the ability to receive without abandoning yourself. Stephanie and Taylor also talk about how social media has flattened the idea into rules and aesthetics, and why so many high-achieving women feel like they're performing femininity instead of living in it.
How do I know if a relationship feels emotionally safe or just boring?
Taylor Carr says chemistry with the right person feels more like home than butterflies — playful, easy, and a place where your vulnerability is safe. Anxiety, guessing, and constant activation can feel like passion when your nervous system is used to chaos, which is why calm can register as boredom. In the episode, she and Stephanie talk about how to tell the difference and why the answer starts with trusting yourself.
Why am I successful in my career but still struggling to find a healthy relationship?
Many ambitious women build their worth on achievement, control, and doing everything right which works beautifully at work and far less well in love. Taylor explains that dating asks for receiving, softening, and tolerating uncertainty, which can feel far more exposing than any professional challenge. She and Stephanie discuss how self-trust, clear standards, and getting out of "strategy mode" create room for a healthier dynamic.
How can I meet a partner if I'm tired of dating apps?
Taylor Carr suggests keeping every door open rather than relying on apps as the only one, and treating real life as the primary place connection happens. That means being an open, approachable woman in ordinary moments — conversations with strangers, taking yourself out, letting yourself be seen while still being discerning about who earns a date. She and Stephanie also talk about why the endless-options feeling of apps makes it harder to recognize a good man.
What should I do if I'm completely burnt out on dating?
Stop dating, Taylor says — at least for a while. She recommends taking men off the menu entirely, pouring that energy back into your own life, and letting dating become fun again before you re-enter it. Dating isn't meant to feel heavy, and when it does, the most useful next step is usually inward rather than outward.
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Everything shared here is for educational purposes and personal reflection only. Not medical advice. Always work with your own healthcare provider for individual care.
Stephanie Baubie: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Inner Script. Today's conversation is all about modern dating, feminine energy, relationships, and the deeper work of becoming the woman you wanna be before calling in the relationship you desire. I'm joined by Taylor Carr, a love, dating, and feminine energy expert who helps ambitious women create more empowered and aligned relationships through healthy masculine and feminine dynamics and deep self-worth work.
After experiencing a heartbreak in her early 30s that completely changed the trajectory of her life, Taylor became deeply committed to understanding love, dating, relationship patterns, and what it truly means to feel chosen, secure, and fulfilled in modern relationships. Blending both classic and modern perspectives, Taylor now guides women toward creating healthier and more aligned love stories, and her work has been featured in publications including Fox News, AskMen, Bustle, and Daily OM.
So with that, let's get into it. And I also just wanna say, Taylor, you are the perfect person to be talking about this with because, you know, you went through heartbreak in your early 30s, which a lot of my listeners are kind of navigating life transitions and identity transformation, and on top of it, you've found the love of your life, and you recently got married, so congratulations
Taylor Carr: Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here and just dive in and tell your audience everything because there's so much that we don't know, and we don't know until we know, so this is a great place to do that
Stephanie Baubie: Love it. So I kinda wanna start off by having you talk about the heartbreak you experienced in your early 30s and how that completely changed your approach to dating
Taylor Carr: Yeah, so I grew up in an, a pretty abusive household, so the dynamic that I was used to was chaos. And even though I was on this really big healing journey in my 20s with my body and my health and my womanhood and the crystals and the spirituality, I was still attracting men who were pretty immature, very much so not ready, and having addiction problems because I came from an addict household.
And it wasn't until the one that ended in my early 30s that really, really just changed the trajectory of my entire life. It wasn't just a heartbreak where I read some books and I learned about attachment style. It was that I thought we were getting engaged that year. You know, it was a love at first sight relationship.
We moved in together within three months of starting to date, and then we were together through the pandemic, and then we were together through coming out of the pandemic. And we were so happy. We were so in love. We didn't really fight that often unless, like, alcohol was involved on his behalf, and I really thought I had the guy.
And so when he woke up one morning and he was like, "I actually don't see a future with you anymore," he moved out so quickly, and at this time, I thought I was getting engaged. We were talking about all sorts of deeper future-oriented things. It just really broke me. Something in me died. Even my friends were like, "I was worried you were going to die in that heartbreak," because all I did for three months was grieve and sit on my couch and write poetry, and they were like, "You gotta move.
You gotta get a job," or like, "Go do something. Get a... Like, are you getting a roommate? Where are you gonna go?" And I was just like, "You know what? The universe is asking me to die, so I'm gonna die, and I'm gonna say yes to whatever comes my way." And I did that. I took a property management job that came out of nowhere that offered me free housing.
I wrote a poetry book, and I just grieved, and I listened. And this is where I think the chemistry of myself changed, but I heard this voice come in, and it was like, "I'm gonna show you something new, and you're gonna do it." And I was like, "Okay, I'll say yes." And I started dating in a new way like a scientist and just collecting data, and I called up some old clients, and I was like, "I think I'm onto something.
Can I take you with me?" And it was just result after result after result
Stephanie Baubie: Wow. That gave me chills when you said, you know, you just had to kind of sit with it for like three months. I think a lot of women can relate to that when, you know, we're trying to get, you know, feedback of, you know, our friends only wanna see us happy and kind of move on. But sometimes we really have to be in that mode of like stillness, like, "No, this is what I need.
I kinda need to go through the motions and grieve this relationship." So I'm just glad you said that, 'cause I'm actually somebody who it takes a long time for me to move on from something. That's just the way I'm wired
Taylor Carr: Yeah. It took three months for me to start to move, but I don't think I felt relief from that heartbreak for about a year and a half
Stephanie Baubie: Wow. What ultimately led you to feel that relief?
Taylor Carr: Couple things. One is I got back into heels dance class, and I let my, my body move in a sensual, erotic way to keep that part of me alive because I could feel that shutdown happening, like just not connected to that sensuality piece of me. And also, the other thing for me personally was becoming wiser.
For me, educating myself on the things I didn't know and I had no idea that I didn't know was one of the most empowering things for me because I was type A, I was perfectionist, I was people pleaser, I was the good girl, the eldest daughter. For me it's, I would like to have control in a way where I'm not controlling, which means I'm gonna become smarter
Stephanie Baubie: So that also kind of leads me into, you know, can you explain this masculine and feminine energy and how those dynamics influence relationships? 'Cause I think this has become key to modern dating, and there is so much noise on social media right now, so I want to hear this
Taylor Carr: Yeah, I mean, even when you say it, I get tingles from my brain down to my legs. Yeah, because, you know, so the first time I picked up a masculine feminine energy book was actually 2014. It was actually more faith-based. It was The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and this is the first time, I was 24, maybe 23, when I was like, "Oh, what is this masculine feminine thing?"
And luckily for me, I ended up working at a spiritual bookstore where I just had access to, like, so much knowledge, and I just read and read and read. And I understood at that time, before it blew up on the internet, that masculine and feminine was all about yin and yang. It was all about that which completes itself, it's lightness and it's dark, and it's not one is better than the other.
It is this energetic piece of ourselves as humans that completes itself. And so I understood that the feminine was receptive in nature. We have masculine and feminine in all of us, and so my masculine builds, my feminine receives and scales. And I knew that intellectually, but when it came to embodying it, I don't think I did a good job.
I think I thought feminine meant soft and sweet and nurturing, and I think that got me in a lot of trouble with men, where I was constantly stepping in to mother them and fix them and show them what's possible with this erotic energy. And I didn't realize that that was actually masculine in nature, because I was still the one pulling them along with me, teaching them the new things, showing them all these things, trying to open their world and believe in their potential of what they could do.
So what happened is, over the internet becoming really popular and the political climate changing and also religion coming, making a strong comeback in our current world, which I'm here for if you love it, and we get to understand that biblical femininity and masculinity is not the same thing as the origins of masculine and feminine.
And so something that aligns with biblical masculine and feminine is that the woman is not so empowered. She's not so big. She's submissive, she's soft, she really looks up to her husband, and that's lovely, but it does ... The foundation of it is control. Whereas when we look back to the oldest parts of masculine and feminine I love, we're looking at, you know, the temples and the walls and the sarcophagi in ancient Egypt and things that we can still find, which is masculine and feminine meant the masculine was here to protect the feminine as she's ushering life through her.
So he's the protective force on this planet, keeping her safe, while she gives to the community and is the bridge, really. So he completes her in this way of, "I've got you on Earth," and she completes him in this way of, "I have you in the heavens." And so modern dating hasn't figured out how to do the empowered part yet, so defaulting to the biblical side, and I don't think it's the most empowering decision.
Stephanie Baubie: Love that. And it's all about, like, it's connecting to where kind of the oracle side of it, which is strong. So it's kind of flipping this script into, like, the feminine is actually, like, strong. It's not like you have this soft side to you, but you're also receiving, and you're just in tune with yourself, and what's a better presence than
that?
Taylor Carr: know, feminine in nature, not even just including the female body, but feminine in nature is cyclical. It is cyclical like earth, like water, like the storm, and then our bodies moving with that cyclical nature. It is meant to be this beautiful dance that is sacred and adored, and unfortunately, like ego and envy of being the creator has come into play.
But I will tell you that because I put myself through the fire in the dating world, I tried on that soft, submissive feminine who wasn't strong at all, but just so lovely as I was dating. Those were my scariest dates I've ever been on. I left with a little bit extra trauma from those ones
Stephanie Baubie: Totally, 'cause it's, part of it is, like, also authenticity too. Like, being submissive isn't authentic in a way. It's kind of not owning standards too
Taylor Carr: Well, being submissive isn't natural for the feminine. It's natural for the masculine. So the masculine is submissive in nature because they operate from hierarchy. It's who's above me and who's below me. This is how we can see it in our political climates and our structures. The way that our whole system is built is based off of hierarchy, which is patriarchal in nature.
The
feminine's a round table. We don't submit to each other. We talk to each other. We speak, we gossip, we, like, what is best for our community? And so when the masculine is saying, "Well, I want the woman to submit to me," the ask is that she becomes weaker because he's actually afraid of her being bigger.
Whereas men in their healthy masculine energy is like, "Of course you're big. My job is to protect that bigness."
Stephanie Baubie: So then how do you think, like how can a woman lean into this feminine energy if they're kind of a little bit more in their masculine?
Taylor Carr: Yeah, so this is my client. My client is very much Capricorn Virgo coded woman who's like boss babe. She's like got it going on for herself. She's great at business and career, but she also is really hard on herself. It's never good enough, and all of her accomplishments she assumes should be the reason why she's now worthy of this love that she's calling in.
And so the women I work with are consistently, "I'm not worthy enough. I'm not worthy unless I accomplish this. I'm not worthy enough unless I have this." And that has nothing to do with feminine energy. Like we get to create, build, and have all of these beautiful things, but our job is to turn that off when we're done building at the end of every day, have a shower, go in the pool, go for a walk, whatever it takes to turn that brain off and move into receptive mode, to soften into, "And I'm the creator of the universe, and I'm the queen of my queendom, and I'm an adult woman who knows how to hold myself, regulate myself, bring myself home to me."
And it's not being girly, it's being embodied, and that's the difference
Stephanie Baubie: So talk about embodiment for somebody that maybe they're hearing that term for the first time and we're talking about dating, femininity. Like, what does embodiment mean?
Taylor Carr: Yes. So I will simplify it first. So have you ever seen a woman who just enters a room and you're like, "She's got something. Oh my gosh."
Stephanie Baubie: I say that all the time, just this presence of like, whew
Taylor Carr: So she's really embodied. She's in her body and believes in who she is. She trusts herself. She's authentic in nature. She's the truth of this. Versus the woman who you see sitting there, and she's putting on the mask of the muse, like the muse mask, where she's like, "I'm so great at this. Here's the script I learned.
Here's this and this, and I dress like this, and I put this on, and I'm saying this thing," but it doesn't ring true to how she actually feels or what she actually believes. So I can always tell when a woman is not embodied when she knows the language, and she, like, cerebrally gets it. But it's not so natural for her to be this in nature 'cause it hasn't dropped in deeper.
Whereas if you sit, uh, with me across from lunch, this is who I am all of the time, and I move like this, and I am this person. But I wasn't always, you know? And so there's a journey that we go on to actually believe ourselves in these things that we're learning rather than just doing them for a result.
It's, no, I live this way. I love this way. This is who I am
Stephanie Baubie: How can a woman start to embody themselves? Is it through, like, meditation, like connecting to themselves? Like, what do you tell your clients is, like, a first step?
Taylor Carr: First step and most important step that you will work on for the rest of your life is cultivating more self-trust. Yeah, if you do not trust yourself, none of this will matter. And the way that we learn how to trust ourselves is by stop abandoning ourselves and the little things we say we're gonna do. If you say you're gonna rest, rest.
If you say you're gonna eat, eat. If you say you're gonna go to the gym, go to the gym. If you say you're not gonna sleep with a guy in the first three dates and then you do it, you're teaching yourself that you're not trustworthy, and then you don't trust yourself when you're picking a partner, you don't trust yourself when you're moving about the world in general.
So cultivating self-trust is the first thing. Second thing is, let's get really, really clear on your standards and boundaries for what you are and are not available for. And being not available for something or available for something is an energetic experience more than just words. Women want to hear, "Well, what do I say in order to, you know, get the result of this is my boundary?"
That's a great place to start. I'll tell you what to say, but until you believe it or feel it, it doesn't matter what you say. And when you believe it and feel it, it doesn't matter what you say because it'll be felt. So I think those things, the standards, the boundaries, the self-trust, first and foremost, and then the fourth thing I'll say is you gotta get out of your head.
Like, allow yourself to let go, which takes time, but the more you can simplify and neutralize and make everything a little less important so that you can enjoy yourself, the more embodied you'll be
Stephanie Baubie: Self-trust. It's having that relationship with yourself first I think is just so, so important. So why do you think kind of dating has become complicated, and why are so many women more so in their masculine, and then now we're seeing, like, all this noise on social media where men are in their feminine?
Like, where is this disconnect coming from?
Taylor Carr: A lot of different reasons why, so we'll see what comes up. But first, I'll zoom in on the fact that our roles in society have completely changed from what we're used to living by. So men are really struggling with what their role is in this current society, and I have empathy for that. 'Cause imagine spending your entire life believing that you had the upper hand, believing that these certain things would come easy, that women would just do whatever because men are the prize, and we're all after marriage and love, and that's what women want.
And now women don't really want that because now women have the right to say no. Women have the right to walk away. We are sharing more information online about why marriage may not be safe at this time. We're in the age of information and technology. Women finally have the right to say, "Actually, I receive better behavior."
And the men are like, "I didn't know I had to do that." Now, with that said, there are also great men in the world who have always been great, but because the women are hypervigilant right now... Like, my husband is the most amazing man in the world. Like, this is dream man. This is 6'2", six-figure, six-pack, great body.
He's the guy everyone says they want, but he was single for 13 years because he was too nice. And so there was this thing that I found, 'cause I've known him a long time, where I realized when a man who is a husband shows up, he's not that appealing 'cause he's not boyfriend, and women are looking for boyfriend.
So the really great men are showing up like husbands, and they don't know how to create chemistry with a woman. The women are hypervigilant right now. Men don't know what their role is. Women are making more money, out-earning and out-educating men in every level right now, and still expecting that men are the providers.
And so we're in this amazing switch right now where relationship's changing, and most people don't know what it's gonna look like, and so we're almost, like, waiting to find out
Stephanie Baubie: So do you think when women are in this hypervigilant state, you know, they, say they meet a husband, of the nice guy, quote unquote, somebody who actually relaxes your nervous system, but they're not going to interpret it as maybe emotional safety. It's, "Oh, this is boring."
Taylor Carr: Well, let's call him the kind man, actually. Nice men hold resentment for the nice things they do. Kind men are genuinely kind. So when you meet a kind man who shows up in husband energy who doesn't know how to spark chemistry in you quickly, you will not read that as partner material. You will read that as, "Ah, he's really nice.
I think I just made a new friend," because we're used to that energy being our friend. We're used to safety and not chemistry. What I have learned with myself and many of my clients over the last six years is that these are the guys that get to receive a couple more dates, not that ... If you absolutely feel nothing and you don't like him as a person, then please don't go.
Like, let's not do that. But if he's actually great and you're, like, thinking, "Do I know anyone I could maybe hook him up with? He's so great," or anything like that, give yourself a chance to grow into that connection. For myself, personally, I've never had a great relationship that was like, "I met him once," and it was like, you know, it was over time, this building.
Like, yes, there's been chemistry up front, but over time, building this like, "Wait, I actually really like you. I really like who you are. Wait, what are you doing with your career? That's so interesting." And so we're genuinely connecting. I think we've lost the art of genuine connection, which does take time, and these men deserve time.
I have fallen more in love with my husband over the last couple of years. I'm more in love with him now than I was a week ago because we're growing in
love So you said you knew your husband for a while before you guys actually started dating. So how did you start to see him in a new light then?
I changed. He always thought that there was a world in which we might end up together, and I was very... My immature, sexy, little so-and-so self was like, "It's never gonna happen between us. You gotta move on. Who are you dating?" Like, I was so spicy with him about it. And, you know, he was dating, he was doing his thing, but he knew that the connection with us was really special.
It took me even understanding what a husband was and what that would actually mean for me to finally have that download of, oh my God, have I had a husband all this time and I just didn't even realize it? It took me growing up and learning what I would actually want out of marriage. So our marriage is very intentional.
This wasn't we fell in love and got married. This was, let's intentionally move here and see what we can grow and build, and we even made a plan. What if it doesn't work? How do we exit? So intentionality, I think, is gonna be queen moving forward.
Stephanie Baubie: And then how can you decipher between somebody, you know, having a level of discernment with dating versus being open? Going on many dates a week versus having that level of discernment
Taylor Carr: So dating is meant to be fun. Dating is meant to be an enjoyable experience for both parties, but mostly the woman. And the man is peacocking and showing off. I think it's exhausting 'cause we get all dressed up, and we put our makeup on, and we go, and we're being this masc archetype of ourselves and putting this like, "Mm, yes," like I'm this high-value woman thing forward, and that's why it's exhausting.
But the thing is, so it gets to be both. Like, my energy's open because I'm an open woman because I am, and I'm discerning at the same time. You know? Like, I was always open to experiences. I would take myself out. I would have conversations with everyone around me, and I was open, but that didn't mean every man was gonna get to take me on a date.
But I'd have conversations with them. It didn't mean, you know, every date was gonna be the one, but I'm still having a nice time 'cause I'm on a date with me, and there's a guy here. We get to have more fun with this process. I think it's gotten so dense, so heavy. You go on one date, you're like, "I just know he's not my husband.
Getting out of here," and I think we've really sucked the charm out of what could be really beautiful
Stephanie Baubie: Do you think there's a level with the dating apps that have to do with that? I guess, what are your thoughts on dating apps?
Taylor Carr: I think that when you are dating intentionally, it's a great idea to have every door open for your man to walk through, and dating apps can be one of them. Some people still meet on dating apps, but for the most part, I think it's great practice, and it's a great way to have open energy. But it's not the main end-all be-all, and I think we get stuck in this algorithm of no one's ever good enough 'cause I can order them like a pizza.
It's made human connection less important. So if I go on a date with you and I'm like, "Well, Stephanie's really cute, but she's, like, kind of blonde, and I like black hair. I like black hair, so, like, I don't know. I know we had a good connection," rather than if I met you out and about and I'm like, "Steph is so cute."
Well, I do believe that we're about to move away from dating apps. I think it's gonna start to feel like MySpace. And I've been saying this for a couple of years, but AI agents are gonna roll out where your AI agent speaks to my AI agent, and then they maybe connect us. This will never work. We're in an interesting time where we're revisiting what connection gets to look like
Stephanie Baubie: Let's talk about, like, meeting people in real life, 'cause you talk about this on your Instagram, kind of ways to attract a man and signal to him that you are open. So give us some examples of what to do when we're in real life
Taylor Carr: So, I mean, here's the thing, depending on your age group too, you know, a lot of men might be married, or wherever you live. 30-year-old man in one place is gonna be married, where a 30-year-old man in another place is for sure single. So we don't know that. We don't know if they're in a relationship or not without a ring.
So it's good to be respectful, obviously, and I do believe that men get to approach women, men get to initiate first. With that said, there are ways for us to open up the door for them to be a part of this experience with us. So I used to do this one a lot when I was single and I was at a restaurant or, like, out and about at a lounge with my friends.
I didn't really do clubs ever. But I'd see some guys standing over by the bar area, and I'd walk over, and I'd be like, "Can I see your menu for a moment?" And I'd just grab it, and then I'd ask like, "Oh, what are you guys drinking? Oh, that's so cool. Great." Now the door's open. They're like, "Oh, she's actually nice.
I can speak to her." Or I remember one time I was at a conference with a bunch of women, and we went up to the roof to have drinks, and I would ... And they were like, "How do you do this magnetic woman thing and da da da?" And I went, "Oh, watch." I walked over to a table of guys, and I was like, "Are you guys using this chair?
We have so many girls at this table, and we would love another chair." And they're like, "No, you can take it." And I was like, "It looks really heavy." And so I had men carrying the chairs back to the table. I was like, "Thanks, guys," and they were so happy to be of service. So you can open the door by just being friendly, and then also give them something to do.
Like, "Oh, I'm taking these three waters over to my friends. Can you carry one?" Whether they follow through is on them, but that's a way for us to drop the handkerchief and say, "Hey, my energy's open."
Stephanie Baubie: Yeah. And as you said, they love to help out genuinely. Like, they love to be that kind of the protector, the, "Oh, I opened the door for her. I got this off the top shelf for her." It helps that, like, masculine energy. And even, like, you could just go up to a table and just say, like, "Hi," and smile. Like, I think that gets underrated, too
Taylor Carr: But that would be more of initiating, I would say. Like, give them a reason why, like have there be a purpose to the interaction, and then let them rise to the occasion
Stephanie Baubie: So when you're talking to women, what are some common blocks that you see when trying to attract a healthy masculine partner?
Taylor Carr: Oh my gosh, overthinking all the time, over-texting all the time. There's no one I like, and I only like this one guy, so now I'm so attached to it and I don't know how to let it go. That's a big one, is, you know, I think there's this future tripping thing that a lot of women do because we're romantic and we have these fantasies where I felt a connection with someone, I don't feel connection often, this is really important.
Instead of receiving it as information that you're growing, you're attracting a new type of person. So I think the way that we really get attached to the idea of people gets to be neutralized a bit. And again, I think we get to have more fun in our experience, so here's who I'm being, here's what I'm doing, here's how I'm flirting with the universe and life, and of course, amazing things come my way.
Women get so stuck in the what do I do? What are the one, two, three steps? How do I text him back? What's the script? How do I be a high-value woman? I want a provider, I wanted this. It is completely energetic. So it's if I would like a provider, then I'm a woman who receives providers, which means I behave like a woman who receives providers, and I'm not gonna get in my ego or my pissed off energy about it.
Women get so like, "You're telling me to change who I am, and I should just be able to." Should equals shame. Like, there's no should. If I would like to be a woman who's making a lot of money at this company, then I'm going to embody her, dress like her, behave like her, and study how I become her. So why would I think that in any other way if I deserve and I desire to be a woman in a relationship with a man who honors and cherishes and worships me, I get to embody the woman who is that.
So I think to put that in a bow, I'll say we get in our heads so much, and we get so like offended, and we really wanna double down on being the person that we've been who doesn't get results, and we get to be more open to having more fun with possibility as a woman, 'cause there's so much.
Stephanie Baubie: I think once tapping into that self-trust a little bit, you start to naturally just kind of lean into that feminine side. You stop being like, "Oh my gosh, doing, doing, doing." You know, the control stops. It's just kind of like, let me just flow through life and see what happens. So what would you say when some of your clients talk about getting ghosted a lot, or they have dates with multiple people, and maybe they get to the third date and then the guy ends it?
Like, what would be a common reason for that? Would it be a block? Is it a standard situation? Like, what do you most commonly see?
Taylor Carr: Every woman is so different. Like, every woman is going through a very different experience with what's going on in their reality. Today I spoke with a woman who had a couple of dates that didn't respect her boundaries, right? Physical boundaries of, "I'm not interested in this on a first date," and they kept kind of like, you know, hinting towards wanting it and going there.
And I said, "Babe, do you believe your own boundaries, or do you still feel guilty for setting them? Is that little girl inside of you who wants to please everyone still running the show? Because no one's gonna believe your boundaries if you don't," right? And so I think congruence is a good answer to that question of you say you want this one thing, but you're still struggling over here.
Let's clean it up. Ghosting I don't see as much of anymore as I used to. My clients have gotten pretty good at like ... They also have their energy open for many people, so there's many men courting them at the same time typically. And so if one falls off, they're like, " Oh, that's sad. Okay, that's information, but, like, I'm receiving so much in every way, and I know what I deserve."
Yeah, I mean, women are experiencing a lot of different things, and the main thing is if they fall off, great, you had a wonderful time, but your husband wouldn't
Stephanie Baubie: Yeah. Kind of just continuing to keep your options open and, you know, try not to make this dating situation work
Taylor Carr: Yeah, dating is meant to like, I go on a first date, we connect or we don't. We call back, we don't, but we keep on moving. Also, as women are doing personal development work, we're changing. So what you're a match for at this level of consciousness is going to change, like let's say the longer we're doing work together.
You're gonna become a different woman who's a match to something different. So I wouldn't be attached to the men who are on this journey with you, because they're just part of that experience
Stephanie Baubie: And you have a quiz people can take to see kind of what their possible block is, right? And where can people locate that? We can put it in the show notes
Taylor Carr: On my website. So it's upgradewithtaylor.com/quiz, and you can get one of four archetypes, and I'll tell you about them now. But some people say like, "Wait, I think I'm two of these archetypes," which is totally normal. And the most popular one in my audience has been the hopeful romantic, which is that like, "Wait, I met a guy, he's so great.
Oh my God," and she's like in the fantasy of what they can become before witnessing the truth of who this man is and letting him invest in her over time. And so her work is really to be more realistic about the man in front of her while not losing that sense of wonder. And then the over-giver goddess, which is our second most popular one, which is the woman who's nurturing, she's over-giving.
She has no problem setting up the dates, and no problem calling, and if he's sick, she'll stop by with soup, and she's always caring, which men really like that, but it doesn't necessarily equal dream woman. It's kind of like, "Oh, she's really great for right now." So her job is receive more than she gives and wait for her level of giving to be earned, but not, again, like not lose that really special giving part of her.
And then we have the independent siren, who is that like almost, "I don't need no man, but if I do, I'll handle it, I'll take care of it. Like, I don't have time for this" kind of energy. She leans slightly more avoidant, and I think a lot of women have reached this level in their consciousness right now of, "I'm just gonna do it myself.
Fine, whatever. Like, men are disappointing." And her work is to soften this and heal her relationship with the external masculine, not just focus on her internal masculine, and also see men as good again because I think she's lost a little bit of that. And then our fourth archetype, which is the one that I proudly found myself, the strategist, which is, "Wow, I know how to do everything right, and I know how to get the guy, and I know how to do this, and I'm gonna study it, and I'm gonna be so good at this, and I'm gonna really take in all these notes about this."
And again, I think personal development women can get really in that strategist, "I'm gonna like strategize how to get my husband." I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as we're remembering to come back to connection and feeling and heart
Stephanie Baubie: Yeah, and then, you know, you mentioned in one of the independent archetype where, you know, they kind of lose faith in men, and there's a lot of that on social media. Like, all men suck, men are pussies, men are X, Y, Z, and that's really not helping anything, you know? Like, I think we need to take that language out because there's so many wonderful men, and it's only harming us when we're saying things like that.
Would you agree?
Taylor Carr: I think social media is a really interesting place where there's also another group online of men who really hate women. They're commenting on my posts all the time, trying to make me feel terrible about myself, and this is just the reality of what it is. Like, there are men who are very disappointing out in the world.
There are women who are very disappointing out into the world. But I keep thinking about this show, Wheel of Time, which is also a book, and it's basically men broke the world, so they lost all their powers and women took over, and the men are just their protectors, and the women are the magicians and the wizards and the powerful ones.
And I keep thinking about this show because they don't disempower men completely. They're like, "You're still with us. You're still coming along with us. I'm not here to, like, kill you, destroy you, make you my slave. We still love you." And I think that's a really interesting take versus something like Handmaid's Tale, right?
Where it's like we could end up hurting the men the same way they hurt us. Should we? Should we not? And I think they end up not. But I think it's just we don't want to give a group the same pain that they've given us, and I think a lot of women are like, "How does that feel for you now?" Versus we are natural leaders.
We are naturally compassionate, empathetic, and peace bringers and peacemakers. So I would like to see women actually use their innate skills to create more peace, rather than trying to just, like, serve someone their own medicine. I don't think that works.
Stephanie Baubie: It's that feminine piece. Like, you know, it doesn't suit us well. It doesn't suit anybody well to do that. If, say, with some of your clients or women you're talking to and, you know, there's a clear relationship pattern that they've been attracting, what are some questions you have them ask themselves to really get honest about this type of person that they're attracting, and maybe in your own experience of what you had to do?
Taylor Carr: Yeah, so what's an example of a pattern? And I'll tell you right now
Stephanie Baubie: Say they're attracting kind of like narcissistic or very egotistical pattern or a feminine man. I know those are like two very different ones, but I've seen it in friendships where it's, we're all kind of attracting different kind of these relationship patterns, or people alternate between the two.
Let's do emotionally unavailable
Taylor Carr: I can do all three pretty quickly, actually. So if you're attracting emotionally unavailable men, it's because something inside of you is not emotionally available. I don't know if it's because you're really afraid of commitment, or you're afraid to fall in love again because that feels too vulnerable.
But either way, you get to have a stronger relationship with how you feel about long-term relationships and your own availability. Like, your vulnerability gets to be safe here. And because you're so afraid of being vulnerable, it's easier to be with men who wouldn't ask you to be. We open that up. With feminine men, what is it about you that loves to control?
Because you don't actually like it long term, but because you choose feminine men who are more passive in nature, you feel more powerful and more in control from the driver's seat. And then eventually you're gonna resent them anyway, so let's start to switch that now to where you feel powerful and receptive at the same time.
They can live together. And with the narcissistic men, this is a much deeper pattern, and I won't generalize this. With that said, I'm probably gonna ask you, where in your family did you receive this level of narcissism? Was it your father, your mother, your grandmother, or a sibling? It's familiar to you, and you might have a program running of, "Wow, he is so amazing, I could save him."
But the thing is, when we are more codependent in nature, we are gonna choose somebody who's more, like, narcissistic, because they will make you feel so amazing, tear you down, make you feel amazing, tear you down. Your brain goes hot and cold. You're now addicted to the feeling of the buildup. So again, we get to get you more solid with your own identity, and not being attracted to anyone that you could possibly save or fall in love with the potential of because you know how amazing they are when they are at their best.
'Cause a narcissist at their best is absolutely incredible. It's the best feeling in the world to feel like you were the one they chose. And so you get to feel chosen by you
Stephanie Baubie: Are there any other common dynamics that you see your clients attract that you kind of have to rewire with them?
Taylor Carr: probably. I mean, there's so many different ones. A lot of my clients attract men who are more passive in nature, honestly. Like, they're good guys, but they're like, "They can't hold me emotionally. Like, I have this well of emotion inside of me. Someone just passed away. Someone just got sick in my family or whatever," cancel, delete.
Suddenly they're nowhere to be found. Like, they can't handle this side of me, and this is what's making them feel really bad. So this one's interesting. I haven't talked about this yet. I'll have women do my Muse Mastermind, and they'll attract amazing men, and then they'll have to come back into private coaching.
I'm like, "Why are you here?" And the common thing is, "I attracted the amazing guy, and I went princess, and then he got sick of my little girl energy, and he left. And I went back and I listened to the Muse, heard you talk about not doing that, and I did it anyway." Because once a powerful, amazing woman finally gets to receive, her little girl comes online, and she does not know how to navigate that little girl.
I mean, there's so many different dynamics. For me, I was attracted to men with addiction problems because I couldn't save my father, so I was trying to save them. There's so many dynamics, what it all comes down to is women being stronger within themselves.
Stephanie Baubie: And then with the princess energy, talk a little bit more about that and maybe how to avoid doing that and staying in your queen energy
Taylor Carr: It became very popular on the internet a couple years ago to, "I receive princess treatment, princess treatment, princess treatment," which is great, but we're casting spells on ourselves that we're little girls, and we don't want men who are attracted to little girls, 'cause that's weird. And also, the only men who would put up with it are men who want to be domineering and controlling.
So we have to have a solid foundation with our inner child so that when she actually is safe, she's not running the show. When she's unsafe, she's not running the show. The amount of conversations I have every single day that's, "Have you talked to your child yet? What about his child? Have you talked to his inner child?
What's he feeling? Let's make them safe." You know what I mean? We have to have a solid foundation with those inner kids before we can be fully adults in our relationships. So princess energy is when we're, "I want this," and, "Why aren't you doing this?" and, "Excuse me, I texted you and I want..." Da- It's that daddy energy, and a lot of women fall into it, particularly when they are safe.
And so our job is to woman up, to queen up, and, "Wow, I had this thing come up inside of me and I felt like my inner girl wanted to throw a tantrum, and that has nothing to do with you, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm processing this on my own, and thank you for holding space 'cause that was crazy."
Now that's a woman who's holding herself, and a healthy man is gonna go, "That's a woman I can be with. That's a woman I can marry. That's a woman I can pour into. She's a safe investment." Men think about women like investments, and if I'm a little girl all over the place, I'm not a safe place to invest in
Stephanie Baubie: Such a good thing to think about, and it's also men want that energy that's gonna allow them to tap into their emotions too, I find. So such a beautiful statement. So when women are on a first date, do you recommend them to offer to split the bill, for instance? Do you have, like, rules of thumb when it comes to dating even?
Taylor Carr: Why would I split the bill on a date?
Stephanie Baubie: Because some of my guy friends, I have heard them saying, like, they kind of feel like some women use them to go on a date, and they appreciate when a woman offers to split the bill. Not that they would ever let them, but they appreciate the offer. What would you say to that?
Taylor Carr: I mean, I would say it's pretty immature, just to be honest with you. Because if you've invited a woman on a date, your work here is to show her what you're capable of providing. And I'm not saying, like, you have to provide 100% all over the place, but in early dating in particular, women are looking for a man who can hold us through all of life's journeys that gives, you know, women meaning.
Whether that's children or a family collapse or whatever it is. It is up to the men to show us what they're capable of early on. If you've invited me on a date, I'm your guest. I'm a woman that you're attempting to impress, and show me what you're capable of. If you're offended by that, maybe you should not be dating.
If you feel like you've been used a lot by women, there's a mindset thing there happening for the men that they also get to tune up. Why are you dating women who potentially could be using you? Or how is the connection building going? How are you on the date? I've heard a lot of men say like, "Oh, well, I felt like I was being used," and I'm like, "What did the conversation go like?
How did this go? Like, were you connecting? Were you asking her questions?" "No, not really. I mean, it just felt kind of boring, and it was just, like, typical." She wasn't using you, she just didn't like the date. And so here's the thing again, is that men feel like they've been used and heartbroken. Women feel like they've been used and heartbroken, and everyone seems to think this is an individual experience.
It's not. Everybody's feeling it, so we all get to be more discerning and more kind and more interesting while we date. 'Cause oh my God, how boring we're being on dates right now
Stephanie Baubie: Give me more examples on that, like people being boring on dates. Like what have you been seeing?
Taylor Carr: Hey. Have you been here before? No, I haven't. Yeah. No, it's nice. Where'd you say you were from? Oh yeah, that's cool. I'm actually from, like, the neighboring city. That's pretty cool. How long did you live there? Cool. So what's good on the menu? This is, like, our standard date right now. Like, why would I as a woman, if that's the conversation I'm having, be interested in a second date?
And why would I as a man be interested in a second date? Whereas when I used to date, I'd show up on the date, I'd grab the drink or whatever, go sit down, and be like, "Okay, tell me everything about you. I must know." And now I'm already starting this foundation in something interesting, something creative.
I've made them laugh. I've opened them up a little bit, and I'm having fun with me
Stephanie Baubie: So what are some good questions you would recommend so it's not so boring? Like, what are some good questions you think would spark a not so boring conversation?
Taylor Carr: I like being very genuinely interested in what the man has to say upfront. Personally, and I know a lot of women have opinions about this, I'm a great dater. Let me tell you, this works. Not to say that I won't share about myself, but it's harder for men to open up, and they're pretty used to women gabbing away 'cause we're so open so quickly.
So I like to give them a little bit of that opening space. So, "What made you choose this place? It's really cool. I love that. Wait, that's really interesting. Tell me more about that. Wait, wait, wait, you do what? I didn't even realize that's what you did." And now I'm actually interested, not just asking questions just to ask questions.
I'm in flow with someone who, if I was on a friend date with this person, I'd be asking the same questions. And so there's that. I like to ask, like, "What are your red flags? Tell me yours, I'll tell you mine." It's fun and it's cute, and you might learn something that is important. You can ask like, "Oh, that's really interesting.
What did you learn from that?" And now you're going deeper already. So I think it's just more human, like more humaning, more interest, more curiosity. And be in flow with it. Don't try to follow scripts, but don't be in your head. Like, you're two human beings looking for a connection, and it may not work, so at least have a nice time in the experience.
Now, if you're doing this and someone is a brick wall, you can't control that, but at least you can be proud of yourself walking away from it
Stephanie Baubie: Love that. And then how about intimacy with dating? Do you have specific, I guess, rules of how long you recommend women to wait? No kissing on the first date, kind of what are your thoughts?
Taylor Carr: So I'll start by saying I am not here to police women's bodies. Like, queen, do whatever you want with your body. I love it for you. If you're a woman looking for an intentional long-term relationship or marriage, I would suggest waiting a little bit. You know? Like, let men earn access to you. You are more sacred than just connecting with a ton of people because you felt bad, or you feel like it's what you're supposed to do, or you were horny on a first date
You know, like I would even suggest kissing on a first date, and everybody's different with this, but if you are on a date with a man who has an issue with the fact that you don't wanna kiss on a first date, or you don't wanna have physical intimacy in the first two to three dates, that's information.
It's better to know that now that it's a man who's not respectful of your wishes 'cause they just wanna know if there's physical chemistry first or not. Uh, that's not the type of man that I think is gonna make the best husband. It's okay to let men down. It's okay to make men uncomfortable. It's okay for things to not work out.
It's better that a woman is safe and letting a kind, respectful man earn access to her. And then when he does get access to her, he's gonna feel amazing about the fact that he did that, like he got himself here. So what I teach my clients to say when men do bring it up on a first or second date is, "You know what?
My body is so for me right now, and I'm really enjoying that experience, and I can't wait to share it with somebody, but I do think the next person's gonna be my husband, and I'm really, really grateful for that
Stephanie Baubie: I love that. You shared that on an Instagram reel. It's perfect because, like, again, it's, you can tell you're being embodied when you're sharing that information, and it's very attractive, too, and you're owning your standards as well, but you're just kinda being true to yourself. So it's, like, such a good answer
Taylor Carr: And I never had a man tell me that that was, like, unattractive or that ... Like, I always had men say, like, "Wow, you really know yourself. That's amazing." So when I have women speak to me and they're like, "Oh, he didn't respect my boundaries and he was pushing," I know that she didn't embody her no on a deep level.
Because there's a difference between, "No, I don't wanna have sex with you. I don't know you," or, like, making it about the him, versus, "My body is so for me right now and I'm not sharing it," and that feels really empowering to me. As an embodied woman, men respect that
Stephanie Baubie: So when you say you wanna save it until it's kinda your husband, how do they, I guess, like, have that conversation? Say it's been, like, three months and, you know, there hasn't been intimacy. I guess, how do men kind of approach that? Because they might interpret that as, like, "Oh my gosh, this is a really big deal.
I kind of have to be certain about this as well," right?
Taylor Carr: So look, I mean, I think one of the things that you can throw into the initial thing I said was, if you're gonna say, "The next person I share it with might be my husband, I'm really excited," it doesn't have to be you. And make sure they know that you're not going, "Are you gonna be my husband?" 'Cause men can feel that pressure.
But with that said, let's say three months in, you've gone on seven to eight dates, and he's like, "Look, like I really wanna take this to the next level," I don't think necessarily it has to be your husband that you share it with. What I do believe is that you have to be in a place where you trust this man enough with your body, with your sacredness, with all the things that come along with sex for women.
Because once you do that, you're gonna bond. You're gonna connect a lot deeper to this man. So the biggest thing is, do you actually genuinely feel safe with this man? Because after three months, like even a not so great man can wait for three months, sleep with you, and go, "Oh, well, the chase is now over." So that's why I'm just like, keep learning about them, keep witnessing them, keep letting them show you who they are so that you trust yourself with who you're sharing your body with.
And if it's still a no, it can still be a no. "I'm not quite there yet. I don't know that we're gonna be each other's forever, and I'm just not quite there yet, but I'm enjoying the kissing and I'm enjoying all the other sexy little things that we're doing, but this feels like a really big deal to me, and I just really wanna be mindful as I move through this."
And then see what he does. He might bounce or he might stay, and either way is great
Stephanie Baubie: That's a good thing either way. As you mentioned, it's information. You're never gonna turn off the right guy for you, you know?
Taylor Carr: My husband was into me for eight years, and then even when we started dating, 'cause people would be like, "Well, you knew each other c- so you could have slept together sooner." No, it was about two and a half months, approaching the third month. We had gone on consistent dates every week. I saw him on Sunday, Monday, that's it, and then for the rest of the week we barely talked.
So like, I still followed my own rules because I was dating with intention to find my right person, and just 'cause I already knew him doesn't mean that I knew he was my person. My rules were still for me
Stephanie Baubie: And I think, you know, you mentioned safety, feeling emotionally safe in the body. How do you describe that feeling for, I guess, your clients or the people listening? How does somebody know when they feel emotionally safe?
Taylor Carr: Their vulnerability is safe with somebody. Their emotions are safe with someone, and you feel like playful and soft in nature. I like to say that chemistry with the right person feels more like home than like butterflies. It's like I can curl up and I'm cozy by the fire with you under a blanket, but like we're out and about and walking around, but that's how I feel inside.
It's just easy, and I do trust you, and I've seen the way that you've opened up with me, and this is very real. With that said, you have to build that level of trust with yourself to know that someone is really real
Stephanie Baubie: And then, you know, there's so much information on social media about the ick, women having the ick for men. Do men get the ick for women?
Taylor Carr: Sure, they do. I think it's just a different experience, you know? I can't say that I know what an ick feels like for a man, but I do know that it is different because a woman's body will shut down. And I think a man's mind or potential of future might shut down, but his body doesn't. Like, he could still technically have an intimate relationship with a woman he has an ick for because he can disassociate and disconnect from that piece of himself.
So a man's ick is probably more like a, "I don't see a future with this woman. She's a right-now woman."
Stephanie Baubie: Do you think men have those containers of, like, the different women? It's like, m- you know, wife, I'll hook up with you. I think there was a second one. I can't remember. But do those exist?
Taylor Carr: Yeah, they definitely categorize in like nice girl, woman I'd fuck, woman I would be a boyfriend to, and woman I would marry, dream woman. These, these are different women. The one that I really, really fight for my clients to just avoid at all costs is the convenient woman, and men will put you in a convenient category if they have that much access to you without that much effort.
They know they can have access to the feminine, pleasure, all of these things without ever having to commit or be responsible for you, and in my world, that's just a no
Stephanie Baubie: Absolutely no. You never wanna be the convenient choice. You wanna be the number one choice
Taylor Carr: Yeah, and I did it plenty of times. I was the convenient woman plenty of times, so I would know
Stephanie Baubie: Is it going back to that embodiment and self-trust to get you out of that pattern of kind of being convenient, just kind of going along with whatever they're suggesting or saying?
Taylor Carr: It's absolutely self-trust. It's absolutely the standards and boundaries you put in place, and honoring them, and making yourself trust yourself over and over and over again. And being okay with the fact that there will be men who walk away, and they want more from you now, and they're gonna walk away, and you're like, "Fine.
Because I'm so devoted to the woman I'm becoming and everything I've promised her that the emotions in the moment don't matter as much to me."
Stephanie Baubie: I love it. We're gonna close, but I have one last question for you. If you could leave women with one message about love and dating, what would it be?
Taylor Carr: Yes, the dating world feels painful right now, and there's still a world in which you can have an extraordinary experience because you become an extraordinary woman. And it's not always an easy path, but it is a path that is so worth it because there are amazing men in the world who are so looking forward to adoring you and treating you amazing and opening every door and paying for all your beautiful dinners and just loving everything that you are.
And so it's completely worth it to do the work to become her
Stephanie Baubie: So good. And actually, I have one more follow-up question. It got me thinking. So if somebody is feeling very burnt out with dating, what's a good recommendation?
Taylor Carr: Stop dating. Dating gets to feel fun, and go pour into yourself. Like, go take yourself on a date. Take men off the menu completely. Go flirt with the barista. Go flirt with the Trader Joe's employee. Like, make the world and the universe wanna provide for you, and it's not about men, it's about the energy. Go feel so amazing inside of yourself and show yourself what you're capable of, and then you can reenter and have some more fun in the dating world.
It's not supposed to be exhausting, and it's not supposed to be so heavy. So the moment it becomes that, take it off and go inspire the world instead
Stephanie Baubie: Love it. All right, guys. Such good advice. Can't wait to share this. So if anybody has any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram @theinner scriptpod. And then Taylor, where can people find you? I know you said you have a website, but also maybe you can drop your Instagram or all the things
Taylor Carr: Yeah. On Instagram and TikTok, I'm @iamtaylorcarr, C-A-R-R. You can also find me on YouTube, same handle. I have a podcast called The Modern Muse Diaries that I'm not very consistent with, but it exists. And my website is upgradewithtaylor.com, so you'll find lots of fun freebies and low-ticket items on there to get started
Stephanie Baubie: Perfect. All right, thank you so much for coming on. All right, guys, rate, review, subscribe, go follow Taylor. She knows her stuff. So fun. I will see you guys next week.
If you wanna connect with like-minded women and dive deeper into these conversations, join my Patreon community. There's a free option and it's where we can talk about each episode together. The link is in the show notes and I can't wait to see you there.
Disclaimer
Everything shared in this episode is for educational purposes and personal reflection only. It is not medical advice. Always work with your own healthcare provider for individual care.
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Podcast production by Jamie Brooke.
